San Antonio Strikes Gold…
Lo and behold, Luke “Tall Bucks” Kornet is now a San Antonio Spur, leaving Boston behind faster than a greased basketball sails through the hoop! In a newsflash hotter than a stolen dunk, Kornet has pocketed a four-year, $41 million contract, leaving Celtics fans gasping like fish out of water. Word on the court was that Brad “Whiz Kid” Stevens wanted to keep Kornet and Al Horford tighter than double knot shoe laces, but the green couldn’t cough up that kind of green!
Kornet’s departure is a bank-breaking slam dunk for his wallet and the stuff cartoon dreams are made of! After a season where Kornet soared to new heights, averaging a dizzying six points, 5.3 rebounds, and a block party per game, he decided it was high time to be the star of his own payday parade. In the playoffs, he transformed into a basketball Paul Bunyan, chopping down the Knicks with 10 points, 9 rebounds, and a whopping 7 blocks! Holy moly, Jolly Green Giant, that’s some serious action!
Once upon a sneaker’s squeak, Luke was just another face on the Boston bench, hopping from Knicks to Bulls to kinda-Celtics-Maine, like a basketball vagabond. Now, he’s living the high-life like a slam-dunking Sultan. In a deal that’s more golden than a hoop of cheese, Kornet rockets past his previous earnings, and you better believe Spurs fans are already dreaming of championship rings sparkling brighter than the Texas sun!
