Celtics Face Surprise Shuffle…
In a twist straight out of a basketball comic book, the towering skyscraper known as Kristaps “The Latvian Leaning Tower” Porzingis has taken a sudden detour from the Celtics vs. Knicks matchup! Halfway through the second quarter—like a bolt of lightning out of a clear sky—Porzingis vanished like a basketball Houdini, dealing with a non-COVID mystery bug. The poor chap was shooting blanks with a donut for shooting stats, but snatched four boards before hitting the bricks.
Just when the Celtics fans thought they’d hitched their cart to a towering firebreather, Porzingis dove into the locker room faster than a point guard on a fast break. The mighty Al “The Dunking Dinosaur” Horford strapped on his game shoes to take the reins in Porzingis’s absence. Meanwhile, Luke “The Skyhook Phantom” Kornet swooped in for a first-half cameo with a sparkling plus/minus of +12 while grabbing boards like a hungry seagull at a beach picnic.
Porzingis, who has been dodging illnesses like a pro baller dodges defenders, is no stranger to such derailments after a bizarre bout earlier this year. With comics and coughs mixing in equal measure, the question on every fan’s lips is this: will the basketball giant rise again from his sickbed, or will the Celtics have to forge their path with the new dynamic duo of Horford and Kornet? Stay tuned for the next slam-dunk chapter in this epic basketball saga!
