Kristaps and His Magic, Pritchard’s Three-Point Parade…
BROOKLYN — Kristaps Porzingis put on his best resurrected unicorn impression, galloping onto the court after battling a mysterious illness worthy of a medical thriller. With a stunning 24-point explosion against the Nets, Porzingis shook off his ailment faster than a dog with a squirrel in sight, proving he’s still a mythical creature in green and white. Meanwhile, the Celtics barely fended off the Nets 115-113, with Payton Pritchard throwing in some magical hoops of his own – but more on his sorcery later.
While every hospital should name a wing after our Latvian giant for his resilience, Porzingis shushed rumors with a tweet and a timeline that would tire out even the Energizer Bunny. He missed the Celtics-Lakers clash due to a crash so epic, Zeus would find it hard to fathom. Yet like a superhero fueled by sugar and determination, he played beyond expectations, clocking in at 32 minutes! His charismatic charm and openness with fans deserve an award for Best Dramatic Comeback Story.
Not to be upstaged, Payton Pritchard decided to have his own headline moment by sinking 220 threes off the bench this season, surpassing Wayne Ellington’s record. Pritchard’s cool demeanor after setting this record contrasts starkly with the bouncing celebration that should’ve ensued. Meanwhile, Jrue Holiday was flexing his assist muscles, making dish passes that would make a waiter envious. Next up, another round with the Nets, and Jayson Tatum promises we won’t blow another 21-point lead faster than you can say “swish”!
