Orlando’s Wizards Dazzle in Cartoonish Showdown…
In a night worthy of a superhero saga, the Orlando Magic spun their ultimate wizardry and sent the make-shift Boston Celtics into a galaxy of bewilderment with a triumphant 96-76 wrecking ball! The Celtics, juggling a Starting Lineup of Lotta Benchplayers like circus clowns trying to juggle flaming basketballs, were eyeing an NBA road record. They fell short, though—the record flashes like a mirage akin to a fabled unicorn riding a Harley!
Our boy Franz Wagner, with the precision of a comic villain chef, was slicing up the scoreboard serving 23 spicy points and collecting rebounds like he was stocking groceries for a mid-pregame snack. His sidekick, Cole Anthony, apparently unfazed by a mid-game belly rumble that paused the match, boomeranged back with 18 points, making him Orlando’s very own Captain Cameo!
The Celtics, helmed by Payton Pritchard whose radar seemed to selectively malfunction at critical moments, tried weaving spells of their own. Despite a bold 15-point contribution worthy of a junior basketball wizard, the squad couldn’t quite concoct enough magic potions or three-point zingers to tip the scales. Back on home turf, they now aim to hex the invading Charlotte Hornets this Friday!
