Hauser’s High-Flying Hoops of Hazard…
In a twist crazier than a crossover dribble, Celtics’ sharpshooter Sam “Sizzlin’ Samosa” Hauser did an unexpected tango with destiny—and his own ankle—late in the third quarter! The court ignited in chaos as OG Anunoby swooshed around like a whirlwind, leading Hauser into a frantic fouling fiasco while he desperately tried to stop a three-pointer with moves more tangled than a circus act. Rumor has it that medics had to chase him off the court like he was a runaway hot dog vendor!
Hauser had been lurking like a basketball ninja, waiting until 4:26 in the third to leap into the fray. But in this showdown, Lady Luck was not on his side. He rolled in like a storm-chasing weatherman, and just when you blinked, he swooshed and fizzled with two misses that stunned the crowd into popcorn-spitting silence. They say he was averaging a sweet 8.5 points, but tonight, he left with trainers acting like overenthusiastic ushers at a superhero movie premiere.
Meanwhile, our alley-ooping amigo Kristaps Porzingis also made a quick exit, felled by a non-COVID ailment! Two Celtics hoopstars out in one night? Say it ain’t so! The game continues without these legendary skywalkers—leaving fans holding their foam fingers, wondering which hero will step up next on this wild rollercoaster of a season!
