The Wild Adventures of Mock GM Brad…
Step right up, folks, for the greatest basketball show outside of a real court — The Celtics SWAG this offseason! Our hero, Mock GM Brad, is more essential to the Boston skyline than Fenway Park itself! With the Celtics doing the financial limbo $25M over the spending line, our dashing dealer looks to shed digits faster than a hot three-pointer! This isn’t just any SWAG — it’s the kind where ‘S’ is for ‘silly’! So hold onto your headbands, because reality just checked out for the summer!
Trade #1, we get into a KD deal! Picture Barnes and Sochan, fresh and flexible as a new pair of sneakers, heading over to spicy Phoenix while KD flies on his imaginary dragon to join the young-gun party in Spurs land! KD + Spurs? It’s the basketball bromance to end all bromances! Meanwhile, Booker gets two pals to continue his shooting spree — heaven for basketball hooligans! Oh, the drama, the excitement, the perspiration!
Trade #2 and #3 are like alley-oops from the basketball gods! Brad and Danny, two GMs meeting under the hoop, mumbling trade secrets and ticking like time bombs, hoping to scoop up Horford’s old sneakers! Meanwhile, Sam Hauser takes the express train out for a first-round pick, leaving a vapor trail of mystery and Swish Brothers dreams! All in all, this offseason leaves Brad a touch shy of apron number two, like Cinderella before the ball! Will our cartoon star swing for Giannis next? Only time will tell in this magnificent mosh pit called the NBA!
