Celtics Bend Reality, Score Big Bucks…
In a move straight out of a basketball comic strip, Brad Stevens swooped through the NBA like a savvy trade magician! Celtics fans were bogged down by the dreaded “second apron” talk, yet Stevens, with a whimsical wave of his basketball wand, skyrocketed the team into financial freedom. By trading away Jrue Holiday to the shooting-star Blazers and sending the unicorn Wizard, Kristaps Porzingis, to the Hawk Treehouse, the Celtics pocketed three shiny second-round draft picks! Talk about a slam-dunk finesse by Stevens, Zarren and the Celtics brainiacs.
It was like watching a basketball showdown in the Wild West—Stevens orchestrated a $22 million escape maneuver by dancing through the hoops with a crafty trade involving Terrence Mann and the 22nd pick to the Nets. The Celtics had been $18 million over that fearsome apron. But like a hero saving his team from financial free-throw-geddon, Stevens pulled off a cost-cutting trick that dazzled the arena. With Anfernee Simons joining the fun from the Holiday trade, fans were skeptical, fearing this could only add toppings to their fiscal pizza slice without trimming the crust. Not anymore!
The trade cats purred and purred as Celtics scampered out of tough contracts without feeding their prized draft picks into the trade blender! Portland got a taste of Holiday season, eager for his wisdom in guiding the rookies Scoot Henderson and Shaedon Sharpe. Meanwhile, Celtics curried the favor of keeping Sam Hauser, sidestepping the apron dance-offs to focus on their true size-need heroes, Luke Kornet and Al Horford. Masterful trade gymnastics by Stevens and co., who turned potential financial fouls into points for Boston. Bam!
