Prospect Prowess: Cartoon Cavalcade…
In the magical realm of basketball dreams, the Celtics are riding a dragon to the draft, with calculators in one hand and scouting reports in the other! The NBA Combine has set the stage, as players exit the scene faster than they entered, leaving Boston with a treasure map to the 28th and 32nd spot. The Celtics’ roster is like a swirling cauldron, bubbling and hissing as they plot to duck under those pesky tax aprons. With wizardly powers, writers Fletcher, Aboyoun, and Paradis unveil spectacular prospects sparkling with the promise of greatness!
Robby Fletcher spins a tall tale of Ryan Kalkbrenner, the 7-foot-1 gargantuan from Creighton, juggling basketballs like cannonballs! With arms that could wrap around the moon, he’s a defensive fortress with four Big East shields, er, titles. He’s a post-up powerhouse, a high-flying lob-catcher – a slam-dunking colossus on a mission! He doesn’t just shoot; he catapults! His shooting range stretches to the stratosphere, with 3-pointers arcing like rainbows, proving every couple dozen are bulls-eyes. In Boston, he’ll be a giant leap for Celtic-kind!
Mark Aboyoun channels the spirit of Rasheer Fleming from Saint Joseph’s, a whirlwind on the court with wingspan that might just enable flight! He’s a chameleon on the parquet, a shapeshifter for the Celtics’ frontcourt with a shot so silky, it puts the finest silk worms out of work! Fleming grabs rebounds like a bear snatching salmon, and his form is so smooth, it hypnotizes defenders into a ballet of bewilderment. Whether it’s popping threes or crashing boards, he’s the trapeze artist Boston needs for its high-wire act. Watch him transform into the Celtics’ superhero!
